


Uni of Emon

by lkcr



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Craven Edge is sort of there but in the form of google maps, F/F, F/M, Gen, Grog & Pike Brotp, M/M, The carpet is here too RIP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-04-21
Packaged: 2018-05-10 21:14:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 33
Words: 11,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5601247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lkcr/pseuds/lkcr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vox Machina uni AU. I'll be posting 1 chapter per day for the duration of January. All characters will be added over time. Mostly fluff & humour & maybe a little crack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The time Vax got a tutor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year Critters!! Here's some light-hearted fun to start the year.

“Hey, I’m back.”

“Oh, hey. How was it? Did you get a good tutor?” Vex asks him as she continues tossing Trinket his ball.

“Yeah, he’s okay. He seems to know a lot about biology which is good.”

“That’s good…”

“Wait! Didn’t you need a maths tutor?” Vex looks up with a shocked look on her face. “Last time I checked you were doing just fine with biology.”

Vax blushes. “Um…”

“Oh my God Vax!”

“What? He’s kind of cute… okay?” Vax’s face was entirely red at this point.

“What’s his name?”

“…Gilmore”

“That’s a weird name… Also are you seriously going to waste money on a tutor you don’t even need?!”

“It’s his last name… He just goes by it instead… Also you do know tutoring sessions are free right?!”

“Oh then I don’t care.” Vex got up to leave the room but stops seconds from the door “You know you could just ask him out instead of wasting your time. And you still need to get a maths tutor.”

“Yes. I know. I will. I just need some time to get to know him better.”

“Pffft… Lame! C’mon Trinket! Let’s go little puppy!” Trinket jumps up, excited to continue playing with Vex.

“You know he weighs about as much as me, right? And he’s almost 6 years old! That’s not a puppy! It’s a beast! Or maybe more like a…”

Vex was gone.

“…bear”


	2. The time Grog learned about trains… also ale

Grog, Percy and Pike were sitting around a big desk trying to finish their assignments. Pike and Percy were discussing the best approach for a complicated physics question when they heard a snapping sound come from where Grog was sitting.

As they look up they see Grog has broken his pencil from frustration.

“What’s wrong Grog?” asks Percy.

“Are you okay?” Pike has a concerned look on her face.

“No, this question is stupid! Why would I need to know how fast a train is going anyway?”

“Well if you were designing a train you might need to know how fast it can go or how long it takes to stop”

“That’s stupid Percy. Trains already exist you don’t need to design them”

“Um… yes okay. Good, yes! … Good point Grog. Okay, well the people that design train stations would need to–”

“Let me help you Grog” Pike cut Percy off before they got completely off track.

“What’s the point? I’ll never pass this class anyway. I only got accepted here because of my soccer.”

“No. Don’t say that! You just need a little help”

“Maybe let’s try a different approach” Percy suggests.

“Yeah! What’s something that you like?”

“Women!”

“Okay… or how about… um… ale! You like ale right?”

“Ooh yes I love ale!” Grog looks very excited at the mention of ale.

“Perfect! Okay so just imagine the question is about ale”

“Ooh okay! I’ll go get some!” Grog got up and ran out the door.

“What!?” “Wait no! That’s not what I meant!” Percy and Pike shout after him but he is already long gone.


	3. The time Percy was tired of being everyone’s maths tutor

*Knock Knock*

“Yes?”

Vax walks into Percy’s room.

“Hey Percy, you busy?”

“Not really, what’s up?” Percy puts down the screwdriver he’s been using for the project he’s working on.

“I was wondering if you could help me with my maths assignment”

“Didn’t you get a maths tutor a few days ago?” Percy looks confused.

“I guess Vex didn’t tell you yet. Okay so… funny story…” Vax says looking embarrassed.

Percy sighs. “What did you do this time?”

“So when I went to get a tutor I may have gotten a biology tutor instead”

“You _may_ have? How did you even manage to do that?”

“Ikindofliedbecausehe’scuteandnowIcan’tgobackthere” Vax mumbles looking at the floor

“What?”

“The biology tutor is cute and I lied so now I can’t go back there”

Percy shakes his head and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“So will you help me?”

“Yes. Fine.”

“Great! I’ll go get my stuff”

“But not in here. Let’s use the dining room table instead”

“Okay. Give me five minutes” Vax walks out of the room.

Percy huffs as he turns back to his project “First Grog. Now Vax. Who’s next?”

Before Percy can pick up the screwdriver again, Trinket runs into his room with a ball in his mouth.

“Let me guess, you need maths help too?” Percy says jokingly as he pets Trinket and takes the ball.

Percy gets up and exits his room throwing the ball into the corridor. Trinket runs after the ball, almost knocking down Vex as he runs past her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vex, Vax & Percy all live together off campus. Everyone else live in dorms.


	4. The time Pike & Keyleth made some new friends

Pike walks into her dorm room after class.

“Hey Keyleth!”

“Hi” Keyleth is watering the many potted plants in the room.

“So I just heard we got some new neighbours a few doors down”

“Really?"

“Yes they're international students. Or so I heard. I was thinking we should go introduce ourselves.”

“Sure!”

Pike and Keyleth exit their dorm and head towards dorm room 14.

“Should we invite them to tomorrow’s game and the party afterwards?”

“Yes! Good idea” Pike says as she knocks on the door.

 

*Knock Knock*

After a moment the door opens.

“Hi! I'm Pike. This is Keyleth.” Pike points at herself, then at Keyleth “We live in dorm number 10”

“Hello! My name is Lillith.” Lillith says smiling

“Lillith? That’s so pretty!” Keyleth says

“Thank you. As are you also!”

Keyleth blushes a little

“So we heard you just moved here recently” says Pike

“Where are you from? Your accent is so… cultured” Keyleth says fascinated

“Yes! I move here from Palac Lusterka with my cousin Zahra.”

At the mention of Zahra, Lillith opens the door further to reveal Zahra who’s now approaching them.

“Hello! Pike. Keyleth. Nice to meet you” Pike says pointing again at herself and Keyleth.

“Pleasure’s all mine”

“We came here to… well introduce ourselves of course, but also to invite you to our soccer game tomorrow night. There’s also a party afterwards. I’m on the team and Keyleth always comes to watch the game with some other students.”

“Regrettably I do not know much about soccer, but I would love to come”

“Yes it should prove to be quite educational I would think.”

“Excellent! We usually meet up at around 6 in the evening, in the common room downstairs.”


	5. The time party planning didn’t go quite as expected

“So what I was thinking, in this area we can have the ‘bar’ which is really more of a table with alcohol and other drinks placed on top” Percy is showing Keyleth, Scanlan and Thorbir the room they will be decorating for tomorrow night’s party.

“Oh! We could put some tables around for drinking games” Scanlan suggests

“Drinking games are so stupid! If you want to drink then drink. You don’t need to make a game out of it” Thorbir says annoyed

“I think they’re fun!” Keyleth exclaims

“Of course you do”

“So, anyway, this area will be the dance-floor. There are already speakers set up” Percy shows them some of the work he did this morning “and we could have the Vox Machina banner around that area with maybe some balloons, team colours of course.”

“Yeah. Small problem…” Thorbir starts saying

“What?”

“Remember when you told me to get team coloured balloons?”

“Of course”

“So I got some balloons but I didn’t think the colours would matter so they’re mostly just purple”

“What?!” the others reacted at the same time

“Well they look nicer so I thought I’ll just buy all purple instead”

“Okay. I have an idea” Scanlan turns to Keyleth and Percy “but it might be a _little_ unconventional”

“I can’t believe I’m asking this but what is it?”

“We still have that poster with the–“

“No! Absolutely not!” Percy cuts him off

“We’re not putting a poster of a half-naked lady on the wall!”

“Oh come on Keyleth! It’s for aesthetic purposes only. Her being naked has nothing to do with it”

“No.”

“Okay, if you say so. But don’t come running to me the next time you need a poster of a half-naked lady!”

“I think I’ll be okay. Thorbir, what are you doing?”

“Putting up the banner obviously”

“It’s upside down!”

Thorbir took a few steps back looking annoyed. Keyleth was right. It was upside down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a longer chapter today. Tell me what you think and if you have any ideas for future chapters, I still have 6 left to plan. Tomorrow's chapter will explain more clearly who is and isn't on the soccer team and how they all met.


	6. The time Lillith & Zahra went to their first Vox Machina game

Percy and Keyleth were sitting in the common room chatting about the signs they created for the game the previous night. Lillith and Zahra walk into the common room and see Keyleth who waves at them in greeting once she sees them.

“Hi! This is Percy. Percy, this is Lillith and Zahra. They just moved here from… where did you say you were from again?”

“Palac Lusterka” Lillith replied

“Fascinating! I don’t think I’ve heard of it”

“It is a little far. Not many people go there”

“So are we waiting for anyone else?” asks Zahra

“Yes actually. Allura always joins us. She lives with Kima, one of the players, in dorm 11 right next to ours. She always brings tea and snacks”

“Oh I’m sorry we didn’t bring anything with us”

“Don’t worry about it we always bring extras. We even made some extra signs for you”

“You make this?” Lillith asks

“Yeah it’s a tradition we have. Ever since we met”

“Percy and I met at one of the first Vox Machina games. We both made signs so we sat next to each other, started talking and now it’s become a tradition.”

“If I remember correctly you come to the games for Pike, your roommate right? What about you Percy?”

“I live with Vex and Vax, the twins, they’re both on the team so I come to support them. Although now that Keyleth and I have been to many games and team parties we’ve sort of become honorary members”

“And we’re both quite crafty so we usually end up making team signs, decorating for parties, and what not”

“Hi sorry I’m late” Allura says then turns to Lillith and Zahra “Hello, I’m Allura”

“Hi, I’m Zahra”

“And I’m Lillith”

“Nice to meet you. Shall we get going?”

 

When they arrive at the soccer field, the cheerleaders had already started an unnecessarily complicated routine lead by Scanlan.

“Is it always like this? Isn’t this one of the first games of the season?” asks Zahra

“Yeah. Scanlan, the head cheerleader” says Percy pointing at Scanlan “always insists on large and complicated routines for all games”

Percy handed everyone signs while Allura handed out the tea as they waited for the game to begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously Scanlan had to be the head cheerleader. So basically all of Vox Machina (Tiberius included) are part of the team except for Percy, Keyleth & Scanlan. As well as: Kima, Aldor, Thorbir, & Kashaw. Lyra is part of the team but not a player.


	7. The time Scanlan saved the day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thursday!

Vox Machina is on the field in full gear. The opposing team, The Illithids, are on the opposite side of the field preparing for the game. Around this time Vox Machina’s coach would usually give them the pregame speech but they quickly notice she seems to have disappeared. Murtin quickly approaches the team.

“I’m so sorry. I almost forgot. Vanessa just left 10 minutes ago, we had a bit of an emergency so she had to quickly leave.”

“So who’s going to replace her? You? Because I don’t think coaching cheerleaders is quite the same as coaching a soccer team.” Kashaw says angrily.

“No, I’ll be busy, but these types of situations are why you have a vice coach.”

“We don’t… Wait! You don’t mean…” Kima is the first to realise who Murtin is referring to.

“Oh! God no!” Kashaw says irritated.

“Oh come on guys Lyra is not that bad.” Pike tries to reason with the team.

“Uhm... where is Lyra?” Grog asks.

Murtin calls for Scanlan. “Scanlan! Can you please go find Lyra?” Then he returns to leading the cheerleaders.

 

Scanlan goes back to the changing rooms and returns moments later with Lyra following behind him.

“Oh, hi! I’m… I’m sorry I’m late. I was practicing my speech in the mirror.” Lyra stutters a lot and looks very nervous, more than usual.

“Great! Can we get on with it so we can start this game?”

“Will you relax Kashaw? Lyra, continue.”

“Thank you Scanlan. Right. Yes. Great. Go team!” Lyra chuckled nervously. “Oh! I brought some orange slices! Should I get them? No. Wait, we usually have them during the break. Never mind. Okay. So… uhm… I guess I have to do this… I want you guys to uhm go out there and, kick some ass!? Oops, sorry I meant butts.”

Vex rolls her eyes.

“Go out there and uhh… play like you’ve never played before! But like in a good way. Except for you Aldor. You’re perfect. Don’t change anyth–”

“You know. Maybe I should take over. I am the head cheerleader after all.” Scanlan decides to cut her off before it got too weird.

“As temporary team leader I agree that Scanlan should take over. I think equal opportunities are important and–”

“Okay great!” Scanlan cut Lyra off again and then proceeded to give the most inspirational speech the team has ever heard. It was beautiful. There was crying. Mostly just Grog.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to cut off Scanlan's speech because otherwise it probably would have ended up being at least twice as long.


	8. The time Vox Machina had a party (with lots of alcohol)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 11:52pm in my time zone. Just made it.

Zahra and Lillith walk into the party and are immediately surrounded by people. They recognise some as members of Vox Machina but no one they know.

“I'll go grab some drinks.” says Lillith.

“Thanks!” Zahra sees Percy in the crowd and approaches him.

 

Vex is at the bar getting herself and Percy some drinks. Lillith stands next to her waiting for Vex to finish pouring the drinks.

“I don't think I've seen you here before.”

“Oh no. I am new here.”

“Well, I'm Vex.”

“Lillith. Nice to meet you. You are Percy's roommate, yes?”

“Yes, how do you know Percy?”

“I sit next to him at game. Keyleth and Pike invite me and my cousin.”

“Oh yeah! I think Pike mentioned something about having new neighbours.”

 

Not far from the bar were Scanlan and Pike. Scanlan was already slightly drunk.

“And the ball was going so fast and then you stopped it and it was awesome. And then everyone cheered. And you passed the ball to Vax who passed it to Grog and then he scored.” Scanlan rants enthusiastically with lots of hand movements. “I think you're the best goalkeeper in the world!”

“Thanks Scanlan” Pike says as she blushes slightly.

“Ew. You guys are gross!” Lyra says with disgust as she walks by.

“Shut up Lyra! You can't talk. You spend every chance you get talking about Aldor.” Scanlan replies.

“Oh! Is he here? Have you seen him?”

 

Vax and Allura have challenged Grog and Kima to a drinking game.

“Bring it on, Allie!”

“Oh! You two are going down!”

A drunk Tiberius shows up trying to join the game too.

“Tiberius are you drunk?” asks Vax.

“What? What you talkin bout? Don tell m not t drnk! I don’t drnk vewy ofen. Is good.” he slurs barely making any sense.

“Keyleth!” Grog shouts.

Keyleth walks over. “What?”

“Tibs is drunk, can you fix it?”

Tiberius hugs Keyleth. “Why are you touching me?”

“Is good. I’m good. Hi. I’m tibewius stomwin. You are princess kissy face. He likes you too.” Tiberius points at Vax who pretends to be busy with the game.

Grog, Kima and Allura laugh.

“Thorbir!”

“What?”

“Can you please take Tiberius to his dorm? I really don’t want to deal with this right now.”

“Yeah alright. Let’s go.” Thorbir grabs Tiberius and leads him out. Keyleth goes back to talking to Kashaw.

 

Lillith and Vex chat a bit before heading back with the drinks.

“You study art? That’s wonderful!” Vex says. During their conversation Vex noticed that Lillith has been looking at Percy a lot.

“You know” Vex says as she grabs two of the drinks “Percy’s single” Vex winks and heads towards Percy and Zahra.

Lillith blushes, grabs the other two drinks and follows behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of mentions of ships in this one. Some of which may happen real soon ;)


	9. The time Vax & Scanlan tried to help Vex

It was getting late in the night. The party has died down a little. Vax and Scanlan were sitting on one of the couches. Vex walks over and sits down with a huff.

“What’s wrong sis?”

“Nothing.”

“Doesn’t seem like nothing.”

“I was just talking to Percy and the two new girls, Lillith and Zahra. You know, the two Keyleth and Pike invited.”

“Their new neighbours?”

“Yes.”

“They seem nice.”

“Yeah, they are. Lillith is great. So is Zahra, she’s just a bit…” Vex thinks for a second trying to find the right word. “She’s a little obnoxious. She’s always talking about how great she is, and how much she enjoyed the game, and she loves it here, and I mean who even wears that to a soccer game? Look at me I’m so beautiful in my dress.” Vex tries to imitate Zahra.

“Are you having a stroke?” Scanlan asks.

“No she does this sometimes when she has a crush.”

“I do not! Plus I don’t like Zahra. I just said that.”

“Sure you don’t.” Vax says sarcastically.

“Well she clearly likes you too.” Says Scanlan.

“What? How do you know? Did she tell you something? I mean… that’s cool. Whatever. I don’t care.”

“She keeps glancing this way. Then again she could be looking at me.”

Vex and Vax laugh at that.

“So what do I do?”

“Well we’ve established that getting super drunk and flashing Grog won’t get you laid”

“First of all you don’t know that it won’t and second of all that only happened like once! Okay twi– three times but one was an accident!”

“Just go talk to her. Anyway I’m going to go talk to Keyleth now.” Vax gets up to leave.

“Yeah whatever. Go hang out with your girlfriend.” Vax rolls his eyes as he leaves but also blushes a little.

“She’s coming over.” Scanlan says.

“What? Who?”

“Zahra.”

“What? Umm… Go!”

“What?”

“You have to leave! Now!”


	10. The sleepy time (AKA the time Scanlan tried to open some doors)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even in this universe Vox Machina's worst enemy is doors.

It’s late at night. The party is over. Grog, Scanlan and Pike are walking home together from the party. All three are still a little tipsy as well as very tired and sore from the game so walking to the dorms is taking a little longer than usual. It’s cold so Grog lets Pike borrow his jacket, it’s about the size of a dress on Pike with sleeves at least twice her arm's length. Scanlan sings loudly all the way home with Pike and Grog occasionally joining in during the chorus. They reach Pike’s dorm first since it’s on the first floor. Pike tries to get her keys from her pocket but can’t reach them while wearing Grog’s jacket.

“Scanlan can you open the door for me? I can't reach my keys in my pocket.”

“Sure!” Scanlan grabs the keys and tries to open the door. After dropping the keys a few times and trying to turn the key in the wrong direction he finally gets the door open.

“Do I get a goodnight kiss?”

“Yes but first help me get Grog’s jacket off.” Scanlan helps Pike with a jacket and hands it to Grog.

“Goodnight Scanlan.” Pike says as she gives him a quick peck on the lips. She then turns to Grog and kisses his cheek “Goodnight Grog.”

“Goodnight Pike.”

Grog and Scanlan walk upstairs to their own dorm. After a few failed attempts (only two this time) at opening the door to the dorm Scanlan finally manages to get it open. They enter the room and both head straight to their beds. Grog stretches as he yawns, hitting the ceiling. Lyra who lives in the dorm above is startled from her sleep by the sound, right in the middle of a rather “enjoyable” dream about Aldor. Lyra, Pike, Scanlan and Grog all fall asleep moments later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While writing this I was listening to hamilton so that's what I imagine they were singing. Also that "enjoyable" dream can be interpreted any way you like. This is the last chapter from the night of the game & party. Tomorrow we start the morning after chapters which will be... interesting...


	11. The time pants were… optional

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's still Monday somewhere.

It was early morning. Well maybe not early, but morning more or less. After a night of partying, waking up around noon was the standard for most of Vox Machina. It is a Saturday, as is usual for the morning after. Saturday means no classes so sleeping until noon is not a problem. Vex was part of those members of Vox Machina who woke up late. It was a usual occurrence. What was unusual about this Saturday was… well there were a few things Vex noted as she woke up. First was the lack of Trinket licking her face; but sometimes when Vax or Percy get up before Vex, Trinket is with them. Especially if food is involved. Second was all the clothing scattered across the floor. Finally there was the body pressed against her back. Vex generally avoided bringing people over and usually preferred to leave before the morning. Vex turns over and sees Zahra who seems to have just woken up too.

“Morning.”

“Morning.” After a short pause Zahra continues “so is this the part where you kick me out or will you make me breakfast first?”

“You can stay for breakfast but I’m not making it for you.” Vex says as she gets out of bed and grabs an oversized shirt to wear.

Zahra gets up as well and walks towards the door.

“Might want to put some clothes on first. Wouldn’t want to scare Percy. Again.”

“Again?”

“It’s a long story. Here.”  Vex tosses a shirt, similar to the one she’s wearing, to Zahra.

“I’d love to hear it.”

 

They both walk downstairs. As they get closer to the kitchen they can hear someone’s already inside. Rounding the corner neither expects to see Lillith in the kitchen. Wearing only a button up shirt and making coffee.

“Lillith?”

“Zahra? What are you doing – oh!”

“Oh!”

“Hmm… let me guess you spent the night with my “charming” brother.” Vex says sarcastically.

Percy walks in to the room, looking a little offended. “You always assume it’s Vax. I can bring girls over too.”

Vex thinks for a moment. “Hmm… no. It’s never happened before so Vax is a fair assumption.”

“Yeah. Fine.”

After a long awkward silence Percy asks “so… pancakes?”


	12. The time pancakes were prepared, notes were compared and Trinket was probably fed

After some more awkward moments and all four of them trying to fit into a small kitchen to help make pancakes; Vex, Percy, Zahra and Lillith sat down around the table for breakfast. Trinket lay by Vex’s feet as usual.

“So what’s with all the metal parts and wires around this place?” Zahra asks.

“Percy’s been fixing things around the house.”

“It’s part of the agreement I made with Vex when I moved in here.”

“Well I don’t want to waste money on things that can be fixed.”

“Ah yes Zahra is also a little stingy with money. You make great match.”

Vex is mid sip when Lillith says that and starts coughing, Percy hands her a glass of water.

Zahra decides to ignore Lillith’s comment. “So you build things?”

“I dabble.”

“Yes. I see you’re working on some type of electronic machine.”

“Yes. It’s for this sort of competition we have in the engineering school, you’ve probably heard of it.” Zahra nods. “I’ve been trying to fix the code for the past few days but I only just picked up coding recently so it’s taking a little longer.”

“Coding you say? I may be able to help you with that. We’ll have to compare notes sometime.”

“Absolutely!”

“Lillith darling could you pass me the syrup?” Vex asks.

As Lillith hands Vex the syrup, the front door opens and Vax walks in.

“Did you just get home? Where have you been?” Vex asks already knowing the answer. Vax blushes.

Vax immediately tries to change the subject, and embarrass his sister. “Oh! Did we get new roommates?” Vex and Percy both blush. The twins stare at each other.

“So who wants more pancakes? Lillith? Zahra?” Percy asks trying to break the tension. It doesn’t work. More desperately this time he asks “...Trinket???”


	13. The time the rest of Vox Machina had breakfast

Pike is already in her workout clothes, having breakfast when Keyleth walks in to their dorm.

“So where have you been all night?”

Keyleth blushes but doesn’t answer Pike.

“Because last time I saw you last night you were talking to… Vax? Wait! Did you and Vax??”

“Uhh… no he left just after you guys did, something about a biology lesson… or meeting his biology tutor? I don’t know.”

“Okay, that still doesn’t answer my first question.”

“Fine… I’ll tell you.” Keyleth sits down opposite Pike. “I was with Kashaw.”

“Kashaw?”

“He kissed me and it was magical and then we talked and watched the stars all night.” Keyleth practically swoons as she tells Pike about it.

“Awwww Keyleth! That’s so sweet.” Pike gets up and hugs Keyleth who’s beaming from happiness. “I have to go now but how about you get some sleep and when I come back you can tell me everything.”

“Sounds good.”

Pike puts her dishes in the sink and hugs Keyleth again before leaving their dorm.

 

 

In the dorm next door Kima awoke to the smell of Allura cooking breakfast. Kima walks over to Allura, hugs her from behind and kisses her shoulder. “Morning. Breakfast smells good.”

“Thanks” says Allura smiling. Allura kisses her and Kima tries to deepen the kiss but Allura pulls back. “Wouldn’t want to burn breakfast.”

“It’ll be worth it.” Kima winks.

Allura shakes her head, still smiling. “Go set the table.”

Kima pretends to pout but does as Allura says.

 

 

Downstairs in Grog and Scanlan’s dorm Grog’s alarm goes off.

“Nooooo!”

“Make it stop!”

Grog turns off his alarm and gets up, immediately feeling the effects of last night’s drinking. Grog starts making breakfast, at first he starts making a shake but instantly regrets turning the blender on. Scanlan mumbles something about being quiet from under his sheets. Grog grabs some aspirin for himself and then puts some on Scanlan’s nightstand with a glass of water. Seeing that he’s late Grog quickly changes into his workout clothes, grabs a muesli bar and heads out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun(?) fact: I originally was just going to write a Kima/Allura fic but then it somehow turned into a uni AU with all of Vox Machina. So obviously I had to still have some Kima/Allura.


	14. The time Pike accidentally broke Grog’s nose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Thursday again :)

Pike and Grog meet up on the soccer field and start their workout; stretching, running, and so on.

“So how’s that hangover feeling?” Pike asks.

“Shhh! Why are you yelling?”

Pike chuckles. “Here try this.” Pike hands him a bottle with some green liquid inside.

“What is it?”

“Some kind of juice. Keyleth made it before the party. It has lots of vitamins, it should help you with the hangover.”

Grog immediately chugs the entire thing.

“So you want to practice some free kicks?”

“Sure.” Grog goes to get a ball while Pike puts on her goalkeeper gear.

Later Kima joins them as well. They keep practicing with Kima and Grog interchanging between offence and defence.

After a quick break Grog says “I want to try and be goalkeeper. I want to see if you can score Pike.”

“Yeah okay.”

Grog, Kima and Pike get back on the field. Grog goes to the goals while Kima sets up Pike’s shot. Pike kicks the ball and it goes straight towards the goals, straight towards Grog’s face and breaks his nose. Grog falls down to his knees.

“Oh no!” Pike runs towards him.

Kima follows closely behind. “Are you okay?”

“I’m so sorry Grog, I’ll go get the med kit.” Pike runs to the change rooms.

“Can you stand? Let’s get you to that bench over there.”

“How does such a small person have so much strength?” Grog says in-between sobs of pain.

Kima and Grog get to the bench by the time Pike is back. Pike starts treating his nose.

“Well I guess it’s a good thing Pike’s a med student.”

“Maybe we should replace you with Pike and win all future games by breaking the other team’s noses.”

“Okay guys, I get it. Let’s go get some food. I think we’re done training for today.”

Grog gets up enthusiastically at the mention of food, they all head to the change rooms before getting lunch. Of course they make sure to get some food for Scanlan, Allura and Keyleth too.


	15. The time Percy had a chemistry lab with Tiberius and Allura

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you forgot Victor is the black powder merchant.

Percy, Tiberius and Allura are sitting, waiting for their first chemistry laboratory to start.

“So I heard that the tutor for this lab is… a little odd.” Percy says.

“Really?” asks Allura.

“Oh yes! Thorbir told me about him. He sounds like a bit of a butthole.”

“Tiberius! That’s a little rude don’t you think?”

“Oh. Um. I’m sorry but it’s true. Apparently he doesn’t even know how to do most of these practicals.”

“I’m sure he does, but maybe we should just try to avoid him whenever possible. I’m sure these labs aren’t too difficult.” Percy suggests.

Percy, Tiberius and Allura don’t notice Victor walk into the lab at first since he’s quite short. The class begins as Victor introduces himself briefly, he then starts walking around the room helping different groups and marking the roll.

“He doesn’t seem that odd. Maybe a little old but there’s nothing wrong with that.” Allura says.

“Well we’ll just have to wait and see.” says Tiberius.

They start collecting the materials required for the practical and following the instructions provided.

 

After some time Percy raises his hand. “Um, hi could we get some help please?”

“Yes! Certainly. And you are? Speak up! Speak up!”

“Percival Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III”

“You can call him Percy.” Say Tiberius and Allura at the same time.

“You said you needed help yes? All of you come with me! Come with me!”

“Uh alright.” Percy says shrugging to the others as they follow Victor to one of the lab benches at the front of the class.

“So what you want to do is add some of the black powder to your beaker.” Victor starts adding the powder to the beaker.

“Is it safe to add that much powder? I thought it said no more than 2 grams?” Allura asks nervously.

“Oh I’ve done this many times. Many times! The more you add the better it works.”

“And doesn’t the Bunsen burner need to be on a low flame at first?”

Before Victor has time to answer Percy, the beaker explodes and the fire alarm goes off. A thin layer of soot and black powder covers all 4 of them, as well as some of the students nearby.


	16. The time the girls had a secret meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Halfway mark?! How is it mid-January already?

Vex is outside Keyleth and Pike’s dorm room.

*Knock Knock*

Keyleth opens the door. “Hey come in.”

“Hi Keyleth is Pike home?” Vex walks in and sees Pike sitting at the table in the dorm. “Okay great! I have a secret mission for the three of us.” Vex continues before Keyleth has even finished closing the door.

“What is it?” asks Pike.

“So as you know Percy’s birthday is coming up” says Vex.

“Of course.” Keyleth replies and Pike nods for Vex to continue.

“Vax and I think it would be a good idea to have a surprise birthday party. Scanlan is already on board, I think he’s planning something big but he won’t tell me what. Lyra is in charge of the birthday cake. Vax is in charge of the backup birthday cake because something will inevitably go wrong, as usual.”

“Oh wonderful!” replies Keyleth.

“Fun!” says Pike excitedly.

“I was thinking the three of us could go to the market this weekend and buy some supplies or maybe even find him some presents.”

“Yeah sure I’m free this weekend, Pike?”

“I don’t have any plans so sure. Let’s go to the market! Saturday morning?”

“That’s what I was thinking. I’ll come by your dorm at around 10 and we can go. Vax said he might join us if he’s free but I wouldn’t count on it.”

“Well we’ll see. Maybe you should come by around 9 and we can have breakfast together before we go?”

“Are you only offering breakfast now that you know Vax might come?” Vex teases and winks at Keyleth.

“What?! No!!” Keyleth exclaims as she blushes a little. Pike giggles at Keyleth’s reaction.

“I’m just teasing. See you Saturday.” Vex opens the door and leaves.

Keyleth, still blushing, takes a second to recompose herself before closing the door behind Vex.


	17. The time Grog wanted to go shopping too

On Saturday morning Vex and Vax walk in to Pike and Keyleth’s dorm and are greeted by Pike, Keyleth, and an unexpected Grog sitting at the table. The twins join the group for breakfast.

“What is he doing here?” asks Vex.

“Hey Vex, Vax, so I _may_ have mentioned to Grog that we’re going to the market and he wants to come too.” Pike replies.

“No!” say Vex and Vax simultaneously.

“Why not?” asks Grog.

“Remember what happened last time we took you to the market with us?” asks Vex.

“I made a _great_ deal _and_ carried all your things.”

“No you made a _terrible_ deal and paid almost twice the original price.”

“I’m not good with numbers.”

“Which is why you’re not going!”

“But I can carry all the things we… I mean you buy.”

Vex thinks about it for a minute.

“Fine. But you’re not allowed to buy anything without one of us with you.”

“I promise.”

After a few moments of silent eating, Keyleth’s phone buzzes as she receives a new message.

“It’s Tiberius. If Grog is coming should I invite Tibs too?”

“No way. I’m not dealing with Grog _and_ Tiberius while shopping.”

“Why not?” asks Pike.

“You weren’t there, last time we went shopping with Tiberius it was a disaster.” replies Vex.

“It wasn’t that bad!” says Vax between bites.

“He bought 20 different types of mirrors!!”

“It was for a science experiment.” Keyleth tries to reason with Vex.

“That’s still too many mirrors! He’s not coming. Plus we only have one car.”

“Okay fine… We should probably get going.”

“Grog can you please wipe the syrup from your beard before we go?” asks Vex as she gets up.

“Do you need some help with that?” asks Vax a little too enthusiastically as he picks up a napkin.

“Stay away from my beard!!” shouts Grog as he quickly jumps up from his seat and runs out the door. Vax chuckles and follows Grog. Vex rolls her eyes at both of them as she exits the dorm. Pike and Keyleth quickly lock the door to their dorm and follow closely behind.


	18. The time Grog wanted to buy an axe

Pike, Keyleth, the twins and Grog spend some time at the market looking around. After about an hour of walking around Vax and Keyleth split from the group. They find a little shop selling calligraphy pens, perfect for Percy. Pike, Grog and Vex go looking for some tools they want to get Percy but Grog gets distracted by one of the shops.

“That axe looks cool. We should but it.” says Grog.

“For Percy?” asks Pike.

“No. for me.”

“You don’t need an axe.” says Vex.

“But it looks cool.”

“What are you going to do with it?”

“Ummm… what am I not going to do with it?”

“What??” Pike and Vax ask simultaneously.

“Where are you going to keep it? You’re not allowed to keep weapons in the dorms.” asks Vex.

“Ummm…” Grog thinks for a moment. “What about your house?”

“There’s no way I’m letting you keep an axe in our house. Neither is Vax.”

“Percy might…”

“No! Not happening.”

Grog pouts but they keep going. Eventually they find some tools and some other gifts for Percy.

“Hey Vex text Vax, ask if they found anything. We should probably regroup.” suggests Pike.

“Yeah! And get some food! I’m hungry!” says Grog.

Vex@Vax: You guys done?

Vax@Vex: Yes. Where are you?

Vex@Vax: Meet us at the café near where we parked our car.

Vax@Vex: Okay be there in 10 mins.

Vex checks her other unread messages.

Scanlan@VoxMachina (excluding Percy): PercyParty.mp4

Scanlan@VoxMachina (excluding Percy): Choreography for Percy’s party?

“Did you guys see the video Scanlan sent?” asks Vex.

“Oh yeah. He showed us this morning. He wants us to do a choreographed dance with costumes at the party. Although I don’t know how he’s going to teach it to us in less than a week.” replies Pike.

Vex sighs. “Of course he does.”


	19. The time Percy’s birthday was full of surprises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since it's Taliesin's birthday today it's also Percy's birthday. So here's the first chapter of the party:

“Surprise!!!” They all shout as Percy walks into the room. The music starts, Scanlan and a few of the cheerleaders get on the makeshift stage. Some of the members of Vox Machina join in wearing cow costumes. Percy wasn’t very surprised about the party, his friends have been very secretive recently, but the dance number is definitely unexpected. As the not so well rehearsed performance ends they bring Percy up on the stage. After a quick toast and some shots the music is turned up and people start dancing.

“So why cows?” asks Percy.

“Vox Moochina!” replies Scanlan in a matter-of-fact tone.

“What??”

“I don’t know. It was Scanlan’s idea we just went along.” replies Vex.

“Anyway we should probably go change back to our regular clothes.” suggests Pike.

“Yes. Good idea.” says Keyleth.

“It’s not very comfortable.” adds Tiberius.

“No, I’m keeping it on!” says Grog.

“Me too!” agrees Scanlan.

“Whatever. Suit yourselves.” says Vax with a shrug.

They go to a separate room to change.

“Come on Percy let’s go dance!” says Scanlan.

“Yes! And get more shots!” Grog runs excitedly towards the bar.

Percy notices Lillith in the crowd. “I’ll be right there. Just give me a minute.”

Percy walks towards Lillith who has now noticed him too. Right before they get close enough to be within hearing distance of each other over the loud music, Lyra walks into Percy and spills the birthday cake all over herself.

“Oh I’m… I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry!” Lyra looks at Percy and Lillith apologetically and chuckles nervously. “Hi… Percy. Umm… Happy birthday!”

“Yes. Thank you.”

“I’ll go find something to clean this up with.”

“Good idea.”


	20. The time Tiberius tried casting Fireball, sort of

It was a few hours into the party. People were drinking and dancing. Laughter filled the room. Percy was having a great time. The rest of Vox Machina were enjoying the night too. Most of the food has been eaten and it was time for the birthday cake. Vex, Vax, Lyra and Tiberius were in the kitchen.

“Okay it’s time for the cake, Lyra?” Vex turns to Lyra.

“Haha. So funny story…” Lyra smiles sheepishly.

“Never mind. We don’t have time for this. Vax?”

“On it!” Vax goes to the fridge and takes out the backup cake.

“Okay people let’s go! Places! On the stage! Move! Move!”

“Uhh Vex shouldn’t we light the candles first?”

“Good idea Tiberius. I’ll go find some matches.”

“Actually there’s no need for matches. I’ve created a little something that will help us light it much faster.”

Vex sighs. “Is this like all your other inventions that end in failure and occasionally emergency room visits?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about! And frankly I find that offensive! I’ve tested this many times. You’ll be a fool not to use it!”

“Okay Tibs, whatever you say, will you just light it already?”

“Alright then. I call this Fireball.” Tiberius says as he picks up a small handheld device.

“This is going to end badly.” Vax says as he and Vex both move as far away as possible from Tiberius, pulling Lyra back with them.

Tiberius starts his machine. At the very same moment Percy and Keyleth walk into the kitchen. The machine starts up. A big ball of fire hits the cake lighting all the candles, then immediately melting the candles and the top layer of the cake too.

“Uhh! What was that?!” Percy asks startled.

“I thought you said you tested it??!” Vex shouts at Tiberius.

“Well technically it did light all the candles.”


	21. The time Keyleth took Grog’s advice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Thursday yet again! And after this chapter there's only 10 left. 2/3 done!

Keyleth, a little tipsy, walks towards the table where Grog, Pike, Scanlan and Percy are sitting.

“Well it’s been a fun night guys but I’m tired of letting Grog beat me in darts.”

“You really suck! I don’t know if it’s because you’re so tiny…”

“They put the dart board so high on the wall!”

“Yeah but like you hit at least two people’s arms with darts!”

Pike cuts them off when she sees Keyleth. “Keyleth are you okay?” she asks worried.

“Yeah. Fine. Jus a lil duank.” Keyleth’s speech is a little slurred.

“Maybe we should take you home.”

“What? Nooooo! Is fine. I’m fine. I wanna stay up late an partyyyy!!”

“Don’t you have an early class tomorrow?”

“Yeah I jus need stay up jus a few mo hous till my nex class.”

“Keyleth you know what would make you wake up early for your class? Is if you do 4 shots of firewater in a row.” says Grog.

“What?” asks Keyleth intrigued.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s a thing. It like reinvigorates you but you’ve got to do them like back to back to back to back.”

“I do hear that cures the hangover.” Scanlan says.

“You know what I’m going to encourage this now. I think this is a great idea.” says Percy.

“Only because I’m identifying with your need for revelry. Why don’t you and I go do 4 shots back to back to back to back?” asks Grog.

“Let’s do it!” says Keyleth excited.

“Actually you stay here and I’ll bring it to the table.”

“Wait! I want two.” Pike says.

“Alright 10 shots.”

Percy puts his hand up.

“11 shots.” Grog says as he gets up.

“Oh man Grog gets so good at doing maths when it comes to alcohol.” says Scanlan.

“Yeah that’s how I learned that a train travels 311,000 km/h.”

“That’s not even slightly close.” says Percy shaking his head.

Grog shrugs and heads to the bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't not add drunk!Keyleth to this fic after last week's episode. Although technically she's not totally drunk but she may be in the next chapter after those shots.


	22. The time Keyleth had a few too many shots

After those shots Keyleth decides it would be fun to go dancing, then immediately regrets it the moment she gets up and takes a few steps. She sees Vax sitting alone at a nearby table and sits down next to him.

“Vax! Why you so sad?”

“I…” Vax shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Tell me Vax. I’m good at listener.”

“Ummm… fine.” Vax thinks Keyleth is probably too drunk to remember this in the morning anyway. “Gilmore broke up with me. He found out I lied to him about needing a biology tutor.”

“Who’s Gilmore?” Keyleth asks confused.

“My biology tutor…”

Keyleth thinks about it for a second. “Oh right yeah!” After a few minutes, sitting in silence, Keyleth gets an idea. “I know what would make you feel better!”

“Wha-” before Vax has time to finish his question, Keyleth pulls Vax towards her by his shirt and kisses him passionately. It’s a very sloppy kiss as Keyleth is very drunk. Once Vax is over the initial shock he returns the kiss.

As they pull away from each other, both Keyleth and Vax smile. Then Keyleth’s gaze shifts to look past Vax at the exit and her smile quickly fades into a frown.

“Are you okay?”

Keyleth audibly gulps. “I don’t feel so good… I gotta go outside. I gotta go!” Keyleth quickly gets up and runs out the door.

Pike and Vax quickly jump up and follow her out. Percy starts to get up too but Scanlan stops him.

“You should stay. It’s your party after all. Pike and Vax will take good care of her.”

“Okay.” Percy replies reluctantly as Scanlan gets up and leaves as well.


	23. The time Scanlan is a little cold

When Scanlan goes outside he sees Keyleth, Vax and Pike crowded around a trashcan. Vax is holding Keyleth’s hair back while Pike rubs her back with one hand and offers her a cup of water, she must have grabbed on the way out, with the other. Keyleth stops for a moment to take a few deep breaths to calm herself before taking the water and taking a few sips. Scanlan stays as far away as possible from Keyleth while still staying within earshot.

“Maybe we should go home now.” Pike suggests.

“Are you okay for a while? Or should we stay here for a little longer?” Vax asks.

Keyleth nods. “Go home now. ‘s a good idea.”

“Scanlan! You coming?” Pike calls out to him.

Scanlan shakes his head. “I’m not going near that shit.”

“Come on! We’re going back to the dorms.”

Scanlan sighs in defeat. “Fine. But if she gets sick again I’m out of here.”

They start walking towards the dorms.

“Pike tell me a story!”

“What about?” she asks Keyleth.

“I don’t know…” Keyleth seems to think for a while but probably forgets about her request as she doesn’t answer. After a few minutes she speaks again. “I’m cold!” Keyleth does appear to be shivering a little.

Vax takes off his jacket. “Here. Have my jacket.” Vax puts his jacket around Keyleth’s shoulders.

“You know…” Scanlan says “I think I’m a little cold too.” Scanlan rubs his arms and pretends to shiver a little. Pike sees right through his act but giggles anyway and puts her jacket around his shoulders just as Vax did. The rest of the walk to the dorms is uneventful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just remembered that Scanlan would still be wearing that cow costume (which were more like onesies) so they're just walking down the street with Scanlan dressed as a cow with only his face visible.


	24. The time Grog tried to find his destiny

Almost everyone have left the party. The only people left inside were Grog, Vex and Kashaw. Lillith, Percy and Zahra were having a conversation outside. Kashaw and Vex were putting away food and drinks in the kitchen so Grog was left alone for a while. Grog was sitting in one of the corners of the main room clearly drunk.

Grog hears a strange ding sound. “Hello. What is your name?” A robotic voice asks.

“What the shit?!” Grog jumps up a little, clearly confused.

“Please state your name.”

“Wha-uh… Gr-ro-g” Grog is looking up and around him thinking the voice is coming from above him or from inside his head.

“Grog please choose a destination.”

“Th-there’s a destiny that comes with you? What kind of destiny? Will you tell me my destiny?” Grog’s eyes are open wide with excitement.

“Please choose a destination.”

“What? I don’t know… I just want to go home.”

“Calculating fastest route home.”

“Do you have a female setting?” There’s no answer.

“Time to home 10 minutes. Departing now. Do you accept?”

“Fuck yeah!”

“In 200 meters turn right.”

“Do you have a name? Like do I call upon you? Can I call you Bacon?”

“In 200 meters turn right.”

“Right. Yeah. Was totally kidding about the bacon.” Grog gets up and starts walking a few steps then turns left.

“By the way can other people hear you?”

Kashaw and Vex walk back into the room.

“Grog what are you doing?” Vex asks.

“Umm… What? Nothing!”

“Okay. Kashaw will you take him home? I think he’s too drunk to go alone and I still need to lock up.”

“Yeah no problem. I’m going that way anyway. Come on Grog.” Kashaw walks up to Grog and starts leading him towards the door.

“In 200 meters turn right.”

“What was that?”


	25. The time Zahra learned how to dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay done. Ch 26 coming up soon.

Vex is busy packing a few final things before she can lock up and go home. The room is still filled with balloons and now dimly lit but all the trash has been collected. Behind her Vex hears the door open and then immediately close.

“Percy mentioned you’re staying behind to lock up. Just wanted to see if you need any help.” A familiar voice says playfully almost flirting.

Vex turns around and sees Zahra. “Help or “ _help_ ”?” Zahra winks at her, clearly implying the latter.

Without missing a beat Vex hands her a few boxes. “Well if you want to help, put these in the kitchen.”

Vex is surprised to see Zahra actually listen to her. When Zahra returns, Vex asks “so how come I barely saw you during the party?”

“You were dancing and drinking with your friends all night. I didn’t want to intrude.”

“You could have joined us. Plus I’d never object to a dance.” After a beat she adds “with you.”

Zahra smiles but also looks a little embarrassed which she tries to hide by acting busy and starts to pack up some equipment.

Vex notices the change in Zahra’s expression. “You _can_ dance right?” Zahra pretends to not hear her.

Vex turns on some music. “I guess I’ll have to teach you then.”

Vex takes Zahra’s hand and pulls her closer. They start to slow dance. Eventually Zahra gets the hang of it and looks up from their feet. “So how come you’re still leading? I think it only makes sense if I lead.”

“No. I’m leading. You literally just learned to dance.”

“Yeah and now I know how to dance. Plus I think I’m already clearly better than you at it.” Zahra teases.

Vex rolls her eyes. “Ugh…even the way you say dance is obnoxious.” Vex says with fake disgust.

Zahra chuckles. “You never shut up do you?”

They continue to slow dance for a while.


	26. The time Vax & Lyra probably didn’t learn their lessons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ICYMI I've updated ch 25 to be the actual chapter.
> 
> The next few chapters will probably be one shots so this chapter is a few days/weeks later.  
> Since I used Vox Machina for the soccer team name I'm using The Shits for just the main 8.

Vax@VoxMachina: Vex is fine. But her left arm is broken.

Pike@VoxMachina: Oh good. I was worried. This always happens when we play against The Briarwoods.

Tiberius@VoxMachina: It was the left one last time too.

Keyleth@VoxMachina: Yeah. They’re kind of weird.

Scanlan@VoxMachina: Weird is an understatement.

Vax@VoxMachina: “Is Trinket okay?” – Vex wants to know

Scanlan@VoxMachina: Of course she does. She worries about that dog too much.

Percy@VoxMachina: He’s doing fine.

Keyleth@VoxMachina: Yeah we’re taking good care of him.

Vax@VoxMachina: “Get me my phone.” – Vex (??? – me)

Vax@VoxMachina: Oh she meant me. Never mind.

Vex@VoxMachina: Idiot.

Vax@VoxMachina: Why did you hit me?

Scanlan@VoxMachina: So I think we should have some sort of celebratory BBQ tomorrow since we didn’t get to celebrate our win.

Grog@VoxMachina: YES!!!

Vex@VoxMachina: Yes. Trinket loves BBQ’s.

Scanlan@VoxMachina: You’re bringing the dog???

Vex@VoxMachina: Of course I’m bringing Trinket!!!

Lyra@VoxMachina: Aldor and I met at a BBQ.

Vex@VoxMachina: Good for you Lyra.

Lyra@VoxMachina: He’s so dreamy…

Lyra@VoxMachina: And his body is so muscular. I just want to squeeze it.

Scanlan@VoxMachina: TMI!!!

Kashaw@VoxMachina: I’m going to go bleach my eyes now.

Percy@VoxMachina: You know Aldor is part of this group chat too right?

Lyra@VoxMachina: Wait! WHAT!?!?

Aldor@VoxMachina: Yeah I can see these messages.

Lyra@VoxMachina: What? omg hi Aldor. I totally didn’t mean anything by that message. Haha. How are you? What are you wearing?

Tiberius@VoxMachina: What?

Thorbir@VoxMachina: Seriously?!

Scanlan@VoxMachina: Ew. No! Why must you do this every time?

Grog@VoxMachina: Haha!!

Vex@VoxMachina: Get it together Lyra. Keep it in your pants! Vax is driving right now but he wants you to know that he is disgusted too. Percy & Keyleth we’re on the way home. Should be there soon.

Scanlan@VoxMachina: Anyway… I just texted The Hammer he said we can use his BBQ grill.

Lyra@VoxMachina: Who’s “The Hammer”? Wait is the hammer his…?

Percy@VoxMachina: Again Lyra!?

Scanlan@VoxMachina: Okay that’s it.

 

Scanlan@TheShits: I think we should use this group instead.

Vex@TheShits: Yes!

Percy@TheShits: God yes.

Scanlan@TheShits: Okay I’ll send you all the details tomorrow once I finalise a few things.

Grog@TheShits: I’ll bring the ale!

Scanlan@TheShits: Yes I know.

Grog@TheShits: How? Can you read my mind?!?!?!

Scanlan@TheShits: We’re in the same room!

Grog@TheShits: Oh yeah! I forgot…

Vex@TheShits: We’re about to park. I don’t know why Vax seems to think you guys need an update every 5 seconds but whatever.

 

Vex and Vax walk inside, Percy comes downstairs to greet them. Trinket comes running to the door followed by Keyleth. Trinket’s back is completely covered in pink ribbons and flowers.

“WHAT IN GOOD GOD!?” Percy asks shocked.

“Trinket! What did they do to you?” Vex pets Trinket who seems very uncomfortable. “You look so cute but also so uncomfortable. Let’s go get these off of you.”

“See I told you she’d like it.” Vax says to Keyleth.

Then SMACK Vex hits Vax on the back of his head.

“Ow! What was that for?”

“Percy will you come help me get these off?” Vex walks upstairs completely ignoring her brother.


	27. The time the carpet was destroyed

Vex and Percy walk into their house with Grog behind them. Tiberius and Keyleth had spent the day working with Vax on a biology project.

“Hey guys! Hmm… Where’s the carpet?” Vex asks.

“What?” asks Vax.

“The carpet. The one that was in this room. Where is it?”

“Vax you should be the one to tell your sister.” Tiberius says.

“Yeah it should probably come from you.” agrees Keyleth.

“So it’s kind of a funny story…”

“Is it really? I love funny stories!” “Yeah I’m looking forward to the funny story.” Vex and Percy say both smiling.

“Wait! Hang on! Do we have any ale on us? We should have a drink real fast.” says Keyleth.

“We always have ale!” Grog pulls out a bottle from his backpack and starts pouring everyone a drink.

“It’s going to make it so much funnier!” Keyleth says after she takes a _long_ sip.

“Alright go! What is it?” Vex asks once everyone had a glass.

“Well… so there’s this acid that we were using for the project, right?” Vax reluctantly begins telling the story.

“Yeah, right.”

“So we were using this room, as we always do. So anyway there was this small spill… which was fine! It was fine because we like as soon as we saw it spill we immediately cleaned it up.”

“Yeah right. And now it’s drying? That’s why it’s not here right? It’s just drying.”

“Listen. Listen. So I grabbed it. Even got a little burned myself.”

“You don’t look burned.”

“Yeah. You see? You see this?” Vax point to a _tiny_ spot on his arm, barely visible.

Percy looks around the room. “You know this story would be great if we could see the carpet.”

“Yeah! Just pull it up. Just pull it up, bring it over here!” Vex says.

Tiberius brings the carpet over from the next room but with the top of the carpet facing away from them. “Of course I’ve cleaned it and everything.”

“It looks beautiful. Yeah! It looks fine.” Grog says as he pours himself another drink.

“Looks totally fine.” Percy says agreeing with Grog.

“Can you umm… flip it over? I just want to see the top of it.” Vex is clearly suspicious of Vax, Tiberius, and Keyleth’s strange behaviour.

Tiberius flips the carpet over. There’s a giant black stain right in the middle of it, it looks burned. “It’s okay! I’m. Uh… it’s not a big deal.” Tiberius chuckles nervously as he puts the carpet down and slowly backs away from Vex.

Vex looks at the carpet with a look of complete shock and horror, she then looks up at Vax and Keyleth. “YOU. DESTROYED. THE CARPET!!!” Vax and Keyleth both flinch.

“We… you know… the carpet we stole to be fair…” Keyleth tries to reason with Vex.

Grog and Vex both take large sips of their ale, Vax pushes Vex’s cup up until she’s chugged it all. Percy just covers his face with the palm of his hand.


	28. The time Tiberius tried to sneak Lockheed into the dorms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last Thursday of the month :)

“Okay so what’s the plan?” asks Keyleth.

It’s late and way past curfew. Vax, Keyleth, Tiberius, Pike, Grog, and Scanlan are all huddled together, whispering, trying to come up with a plan.

“Scanlan, we need you to create some sort of distraction.” says Vax.

“Obviously! On it!” says Scanlan.

“Okay once Scanlan is gone. We wait 10 minutes then we go. I’ll go ahead to make sure the coast is clear. Tiberius you take Lockheed and follow me when I give you the signal.”

“Ooh what’s the signal? Should we have different code words for different situations?” asks Tiberius.

“Yeah _or_ I’ll just make a go or stop motion with my hand so we don’t make any unnecessary noise.”

“Yes that would make more sense.”

“Ooh. Ooh. What do I do?” Keyleth asks excited.

“Okay Keyleth you follow Tiberius, then Pike, and Grog you’ll be bringing up the rear.”

Grog starts laughing loudly. “Haha you said rear!”

“Grog that’s not what he meant.” says Pike.

“Oh!” Grog immediately stops laughing.

“Okay are we ready?” Everyone nods. “Let’s do this!” Vax hands Pike Lockheed’s cage. “Pike you’ll be carrying Lockheed’s cage, since I need to be extra stealthy. Don’t drop it or–”

“I know. I got it.” Pike cuts Vax off and grabs the cage.

They wait 10 minutes and Vax goes ahead. There’s some noise upstairs, probably Scanlan’s distraction. Once Vax sees the coast is all clear he motions for the others to follow. They get to the second level, halfway to Tiberius’s dorm, with no problem. As they walk through one of the corridors there’s an unexpected change in the flooring which Pike doesn’t see with the cage in her line of sight. Then CLANK CLANK CLANK Pike drops the cage and the sound echoes through the corridor. They try to quickly run to Tiberius’s dorm or find a hiding spot but they see Sherrie at the end of the corridor, arms crossed and shaking her head at them. Scanlan is next to her, clearly caught too.

“Pets are not permitted in the dorms. Neither is arriving past curfew.” Sherrie looks at Vax “I don’t recall you living here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought her name was Sherrie or Sherry but I assume the wiki is correct and it's Cherlie. If it's wrong let me know and I'll fix it.  
> Edit: Changed it to Sherrie.


	29. The time at the fair

Keyleth sees a magician and immediately runs over, Percy and Scanlan tag along.

“Now! Watch if you will as this simple ball transports itself between the cups and yet find your eyes unable to follow.” Then starts to move the cups around. “Where is the ball little ones?”

One of the kids points at a cup and the others nod their heads in agreement. “That one!”

“Are you _sure_?” They nod their heads. He lifts the cup “oh! I’m sorry the ball has escaped your vision once again.” The kids all cheer.

Keyleth stares at him in awe for a second. “Are you a wizard? You’re a– no! Are you a sorcerer?”

“ _I_ am what you refer to as an _illusionist!_ And I can play tricks on _your_ mind.” He points at Keyleth, then at Percy “your mind” and finally Scanlan “and your mind.”

“NO! NO WE’VE BEEN THROUGH WAY TOO MUCH LATELY!!!” Keyleth shouts and starts sobbing.

“No. No. No. It’s entertainment. It’s just entertainment.” Scanlan tries to calm her.

“ _Playful_! Playful illusions.” The magician quickly clarifies.

“It’s just a game it’s not real.”

“It’s fine. She’s fine.” Percy says to the magician.

“Keep her in check please! You’re scaring the children.”

“Okay. I don’t trust this guy.” Keyleth whispers to Percy and Scanlan.

“For a small fee of $5 I can look into your fate.”

“Alright, I’ll do that.” Percy takes out a $5 note from his pocket and hands it to the magician.

“What?!” Keyleth grabs the magician by his collar. “If you hurt him…”

“Kids! _This_ is why you shouldn’t drink during the daytime.” says Scanlan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so maybe I cheated a little with this chapter since I barely changed it but it's difficult to write fluff when everyone are being attacked by dragons.


	30. The time Vox Machina went ice skating

“I’m not sure about this.” Keyleth says in a worried tone.

“It’ll be fine! We’ll have so much fun. Just try it.” says Scanlan.

Most of the members of Vox Machina were gathered in the common room. Kima and Allura walk downstairs and join the group.

“So are we all here?” asks Allura.

“We’re still missing Lyra, she said she’ll be down in five minutes.” replies Vax.

“Ugh… can’t we just go without her?” asks Kima.

“She’s getting us free skates from her uncle.” says Pike.

“She stays!” exclaims Vex.

 

They walk up to the skate hiring place and head to the back door. Lyra knocks on the door and a man opens it.

“Yeah what can I– oh Lyra…”

“Hi! Oh my gosh. How are you?” Lyra asks as she awkwardly hugs the man.

“Oh… what do you want this time?”

“Me and my friends… because these are my friends now–”

“You know what she’s sort of our leader.” says Scanlan.

“Crazy! Right!? Can you believe it?”

“No. I can’t believe it. But good for you Lyra. Now what do you need?”

“We’re going ice skating and we need some skates. So what do we have in the store we could maybe use for the day?”

He closes the door.

After a minute passes Lyra says “don’t worry guys. He’s gonna hook us up. Any minute now…”

“Of course he will Lyra.” Zahra says sarcastically.

The door opens after about five minutes and the man brings out two large boxes with differently sized skates. “Be safe little one.” He says then closes the door again.

“See I came through!” says Lyra excited and a little surprised.

“Yes you did.” says Percy.


	31. The time Vox Machina went ice skating (part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised 31 chapters in 31 days. I can't believe I wrote 10k words in a month. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

After an hour of skating Vex and Pike decide to take a break.

“Where’s Trinket?” asks Vex.

“He’s probably around here somewhere.” says Pike.

“He does like playing in the snow. Will you help me look for him?”

“Yeah sure no problem.”

After some time looking Pike finds Trinket lying on the ground covered in snow. Pike pulls him out of the snow with some difficulty.

“Come on Trinket. You’ll freeze if you stay out here much longer. Vex! I found him!”

At the sound of Vex’s name Trinket runs eagerly to Vex.

“Oh Trinket! Look at you. Let’s get you inside, you look so cold.”

They all head inside a café nearby where some of Vox Machina were already sitting, drinking hot chocolates.

 

After helping Grog get up after he falls on the ice; Scanlan, Percy, Tiberius, Keyleth, and of course Grog join them too.

“Oh hey did I tell you guys about the dream I had last night?” asks Scanlan.

“Ew! No one wants to hear about your weird sexual dreams Scanlan.”

“I didn’t say it was a sexual dream Lyra!”

“Oh.”

“Yeah we don’t all only have sexual dreams!”

“I don’t only have sexual dreams… Just most of them.” Lyra whispers the second part.

“So that dream, Scanlan?” asks Lillith.

“Oh! Right, yes! I had the weirdest dream we were all being attacked by dragons. The whole city was destroyed. It was bad!”

“Pffft… That would never happen!” says Vex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...and they all lived happily ever after with no dragon in sight. The end.


	32. BONUS CHAPTER: The time Scanlan tried helping Aldor with his Lyra problem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus chapter! Since now it's canon that Aldor is terrified of Lyra I had to write this.

Aldor and Scanlan walk through the corridor discussing the lecture they just had when they hear a loud voice coming from the end of the corridor.

“Oh! Yeah sure no problem. Haha. I’m so sorry! …again!”

Aldor turns to Scanlan with a frightened look. “Is that? Oh god! Hide me!”

“What? It’s just Lyra. What are you talking about?”

“She’s been stalking me for weeks. Please, I beg of you, go distract her.”

“Okay… but I’ll need your hat.”

“Umm…” Aldor looks a little confused but hands him the hat anyway. “Yes. Fine. Whatever. Just hurry!”

“Okay go hide over there. I got this!”

Aldor does as Scanlan says and watches him head over to Lyra.

Scanlan puts the hat on his head and uses it to cover most of his face. “Hey Lyra.” Scanlan says in a deeper voice than usual, trying to imitate Aldor.

“ALDOR!?!?!?” Lyra turns her head and sees Scanlan, who she thinks is Aldor, and she immediately kisses him deeply and passionately.

Aldor peeks his head out of the spot he is hiding in, looking very surprised by this turn of events.

Lyra pulls away, eyes still closed. “You seem a lot shorter than usual?”

“Oh! It’s… uh…” Scanlan tries to quickly think of an excuse.

Vanessa walks past them, looking disgusted, but heads towards Aldor at the other end of the corridor. “Aldor! I’ve been meaning to speak with you about our next game. Do you have a moment?”

Lyra opens her eyes suddenly as she hears Aldor’s name being called. “Wait.... what! Oh my! That’s! You’re! Ugh gross!! I can’t believe you kissed me!” Lyra starts wiping her mouth with disgust.

Aldor sees Lyra do this and immediately jumps out from his hiding spot. “Hey Vanessa. Yes we should go talk. Right away! As far away from here as possible!” Aldor grabs her arm and starts pulling her with him.

“It will only take a second Aldor. There’s really no need for us to go anywhere.”

“No. We should go. Quickly!”

“ALDOR!!! Wait!!” Lyra calls out and starts walking quickly towards him.

“I’ll meet you on the field in an hour.” Aldor whispers to Vanessa and runs out of there.

“Strange kids these days.” Vanessa mutters under her breath and shakes her head as she walks away.


	33. BONUS CHAPTER: The time Scanlan #FeltTheGern

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while since the last chapter but with the 50th today I decided it would be the perfect time to update. Plus I had to add Gern to this fic. I've also been working on a new fic so hopefully I'll have the first chapter up soon.

“I don’t think this store has any geology things.” says Vax as he walks into the store.

“Then why would there be volcano photos on the front?” asks Vex.

“I don’t know but can you see anything other than candles around?” replies Vax.

“I think I found something!” calls out Grog.

“That’s a candle.” says Scanlan.

“Never mind!” Grog calls out again.

Vax walks towards the register. “Hi, we’re looking for some geology books for our friend. We were hoping you’d have something as you have volcano photos on the front door of your store.”

“No, of course not. This is clearly a candle store.”

“What does that have to do with volcanoes?” asks Vex.

“A volcano is nature’s candle! What a stupid question!”

“Yeah. That makes sense.” Grog nods.

“Surely this can’t be the first time this has happened.” suggests Scanlan.

“It does happen quite a lot actually. Yes. Now that I think about it, it’s probably a little bit on me I suppose.”

“Well… I’m Scanlan and these are my friends Grog, Vex and Vax.”

“Oh! I’m sorry I forgot to – sorry where are my manners? My name is Gern Blanston.”

“No it’s not!” Scanlan exclaims sceptically.

“It’s Gern Blanston!” Gern turns to the others “this one’s very rude!”

They all nod in agreement. “So what do you guys do?”

“We’re all uni students and we’re all also on the soccer team.” answers Vex.

“Well I’m actually not on the team, but I’m the head cheerleader” Scanlan leans closer to Gern “which means I’m very flexible” he winks.

“That’s fantastic! This is actually my dance vest. I think dancing is very important. I’m alone most of the time, it keeps me occupied.” says Gern, completely missing Scanlan’s flirtatious tone.

The store’s bell rings as a new customer walks in.

“Well we should probably get going, let you get back to business.” Vax says as he heads to the door. Vex and Grog follow him.

“Actually I think I might stay for a while, look around. You guys know how much I love candles.”

“Sure, Scanlan.” Vex winks as she closes the door behind them.

“Well you know I’ve got some new candles in the back that I think you might like. Go have a look and I’ll be with you in a moment, once I’m done with this customer.”

Scanlan heads through to the back as the other customer walks up to the register. Once Scanlan hears the store’s bell ring again as the door closes behind the customer he calls out to Gern.

“Just a minute!” After a few moments Gern walks into the back and doesn’t see Scanlan, confused he walks into his bedroom and sees all of his candles have been lit and Scanlan laying in his bed shirtless.

“Stop! Stop! Stop what you’re doing! Stop it! What have you done?! What have you fucking done?! I don’t understand it. Jesus Christ. These are not easy to make!” Gern shouts as he runs around trying to extinguish all the candles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw I should probably mention that Scanlan and Pike have an open relationship in this fic so Scanlan kissing Lyra in the last chapter and flirting with Gern in this one is not cheating.


End file.
